Hey you! Yeah, you. Stop reading this. This has nothing to do with you and not much to do with me either. If you're trying to psychoanalyze me this won't help much. You're better off trying to talk to me than trying to glean details about me.
Sunday, 30 March 2008 at 9:45 pm • no comments • tags: random
Life has been such a blur for the past 9 months now. It's like summer never ended, and I'm still thinking I have all the free time in the world even though I'm fucking up in school, particularly calculus. That is one class in which I can't BS and get away with it. I might just drop if things don't get better.
It's like nothing has changed, and I'm still thinking of that loner girl.
Anyways, I'm 99% sure I'm going to UC Smash Bros UCSB. Hooray.
Friday, 28 March 2008 at 3:50 pm • no comments • tags: college, emo, life, school, sdre
Revisiting suicide hill with someone else. Might get something new out of it.
Thursday, 27 March 2008 at 08:24 am • no comments • tags: fun, saetia, suicide
I haven't slept for about 36 hours. That said, last night was amazing. We went to Corona Del Mar at 2 AM and hung out, but the ocean breeze was freezing. Then suicide hill at 3 AM. The entrance to that place was epic; it was completely dark on the other side. We encountered two sketchy guys waiting there. They said they were part of a secret club doing secret activities and asked us if we could wait there (of course we didn't), and we got up and down the hill safely. Came home at around 4:20 AM, and I was tripping out in my house in the dark.
Anyways, fuck calculus.
Wednesday, 26 March 2008 at 7:40 pm • one comment • tags: envy, fun, random, suicide
Often I stare at random objects. It's crazy; my eyes get fixated on random things that have nothing to do with anything. I stare at people unintentionally too, which gets awkward. Maybe I should just shut my eyes unless I need to see something. But we can't not look at things we don't mean to see so we look at the floor or a wall to be polite. Except me. I never really mastered disinterest.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008 at 7:47 pm • no comments • tags: dashboard, random
I wish choices were clearly revealed to me. I hate having to decide things; it's like God trying to lure me into His bait, but He already knows I'm going to fall for it. He condemns people to sin.
Not that I believe in God anyways.
The illusion of choice is tricky. Being given the choice to do the right thing, we often don't.
But if you knew your whole future, life wouldn't be very fun would it? You already know where you're going so why are you still here.
Monday, 24 March 2008 at 1:19 pm • no comments • tags: bullshit, philosophy
Yesterday wasn't the day, but maybe it will happen someday.
It occured to me that I shouldn't discard my writing regardless of how inane it may be (but I thought of that a little too late).
Sunday, 23 March 2008 at 11:19 am • no comments • tags: random
I deleted all previous entries. No more whiny emo bullshit (just kidding about the emo part). I can't stand reading anything I write in retrospect.
Wednesday, 19 March 2008 at 5:10 pm • one comment • tags: bullshit